Thursday July 31st

I have had the hardest time waking up in the mornings, lately.  I'm sure that part of the reason is that I'm writing on this blog at 11:00 at night, but even if I get a full eight hours of sleep, I just can't drag myself out of bed.  I'm guessing if I did better at obeying the commandment to retire to my bed early and arise early, then I would do better, but how do you do that in the summer when every kid in the neighborhood is outside playing until ten o'clock? 

But this morning I did it!  I woke up all by myself an hour before anyone else was awake.  And I did it without any alarm clock!  So how did I do that?  It can only have been divine intervention.  Someday I will get to watch the replay, and then I will see the angels in my room, tickling my feet and humming in my ear.  However it happened, it was awesome!  I felt so on top of things today!  It's amazing what that extra time can do for a girl.

I'm not holding my breath that it will happen again tomorrow, but today I am grateful that the Lord woke me up early this morning. 

Wednesday July 30th

The Captain had a good day today.  He had been hired to teach a college math class, and now he is going to teach another one!  That makes two math classes.  Hooray!  It's still not enough to support us, but it's getting closer.  The Lord definitely has His hand in our lives.

Tuesday July 29th

Every spring I enthusiastically plant a garden.  I love the idea of having a garden, and actually I love working in my garden.  I really enjoy pulling weeds.  I think that is probably my favorite thing to do in my garden, crazy enough.  But the whole project starts to lose charm by the end of July.  That's silly, because that's about when I start actually getting ready-to-eat vegetables from garden. But, to be honest, I've never really been into the harvest.  I'd rather pull the weeds, and let someone else deal with the produce.  I know, I know.  That's the whole point.  But you already knew I was odd, and if you didn't before, it's now been confirmed. 

Anyway, I have been meaning to get out to my garden for a week, now.  Life has just been so crazy, with Pioneer Day and everything else that I just haven't.  I think about it every day, that I ought to go out and see how it's doing and give it some water, but I don't get it done. 

Well, today the Lord decided to help me out with my To Do list.  He watered my garden for me.  It does usually rain a little in the afternoons most days in the end of July and first of August, but today it rained for real.  It gave us a good downpour, then a little while late it gave us another one!  It seriously soaked everything, and it did such a good job that my garden is quite thoroughly watered!  Woo hoo! 

Monday July 28th

Today the Captain was going up north to check vending machines, and he needed someone to go with him.  He likes to have someone to count the quarters and record numbers while he drives to the next location.  It saves him a lot of time, plus he has someone to talk to and hang out with all day.  He tried to talk Leisl into going with him, but she just wasn't interested.  So I finally said I would go with him, but I was a little worried about my kids.  I hate being gone all day, even though I know I have kids big enough to babysit, and they're usually fine.  I still hate it.  So as we were getting ready to go this morning, I started praying and asking the Lord to tell me if I should just stay home.  I was about ready to stay home, anyway, and if I had gotten even the smallest nudge toward bagging the trip, I would have in a heartbeat.  But the Captain needed me, and so I got in the car and drove away. 

After we had gone a little ways, we pulled out the food we had packed for breakfast, and I said a blessing on it while we drove.  In my prayer, I asked the Lord to keep my kids safe while we were gone.  Or, at least, I tried to say that.  I got so choked up that I couldn't really say the words, and I cried through the rest of the prayer.  I knew that my kids would be fine, and that we would be fine, as well. 

And we were!  The Captain and I had a good day of vending, getting everything done in record time.  There was even one place that is usually not open on Mondays, but there just "happened" to be someone inside who could let us in to check the vending machine.  Our van worked great, and everything went well.  My kids were good, too.  I haven't heard many details, other than that Gretl missed me, but everyone seemed happy when we returned.  Leisl and Louisa had fixed dinner, cleaned my kitchen, and vacuumed my living room.  What awesome kids, huh? 

Clearly the Lord had a hand not only in reassuring me this morning, but also in keeping us all safe and helping us have a good day.

Sunday July 27th

Yesterday I sent Friedrich off to Timberline.  He attended last year, but this year he is on staff.  He

has had lots of meetings leading up to this, and seemed pretty excited about going, but I have had a hard time.  For some reason it just hit me a lot harder this year to let him go away for a week. I tried to talk him out of going just so he could stay home and hang out with me, but he wasn't so excited about that idea. 

I sent him off yesterday, and today I was already missing him tons.  So I was delighted when I answered my phone today and heard Friedrich's voice! Apparently the kid who was supposed to be the trumpet player for this year's camp forgot his trumpet or couldn't come, or something, so Friedrich was calling to see if I could send his trumpet up with a boy who is going up to camp in the morning.  Oh, and he also forgot his toothbrush and a jacket.  (Boys!)  So I got to talk to him for a minute and hear how things were going so far.  I told him about our crazy Sacrament Meeting today and how much we miss him already.

I was excited to have the chance to send some things to him, because I had forgotten to write the letter I was supposed to write.  They ask the parents to write a letter to their boys that the staff can deliver to them later in the week, and I had forgotten to write one and send it with Friedrich.  I was feeling kind of bad that everyone would get a letter but him.  So I sat down and wrote Friedrich a letter and put it in a bag with a jacket and his toothbrush.  I threw in a few jokes, too, just because I was missing my boy and wanted to connect with him somehow.  I took all the stuff over to the address he had given me, and felt a little better. 

I'm still missing my boy, but I'm glad that the Lord gave me a chance to write that letter and to talk to him on the phone for a minute.  I hope He will take care of Friedrich and help the days go by quickly until he's home again.

Saturday July 26th

We did it!  Oh man, I did not realize how much work a yard sale was.  After spending all of yesterday getting ready for it, we spent all of today actually doing it.  I mean, you write 8:00 to 12:00 on the signs, but it's really more like 6:30am to 6:00pm.  We got up early to start getting ready and setting stuff up.  The Captain had gone out and put signs up last night, so people started showing up at 7:00, before we were even ready. 

But we pulled it together and were mostly ready before the crowds came.  Quite a few people came, and I'm sure it was the Lord sending them over, because we did not get it into the newspaper, and we only had a couple of signs around town to let people know about it.  But people came, anyway, and they carried away a lot of our junk.  We didn't make a ton of money, but we got rid of a lot of stuff. 

The stuff that didn't sell was loaded up and hauled to Deseret Industries , so when it was all over, we had tons more room in our garage.  Ah, it feels so good to get rid of stuff!  Actually, I'm exhausted, but my spirit feels lighter with fewer possession to take care of and store.  

Friday July 25th

It has been a little over a year since we moved into this house.  Even as we were packing stuff up from our old house, we were saying that we needed to have a yard sale.  After sixteen years of marriage, we had collected a crazy amount of stuff.  So as we unpacked all our stuff in the new house, we started setting stuff aside to put in the yard sale, which we would have soon. 

But you know how life is - it just keeps coming at you, and things you meant to do just sometime don't happen.  Pretty soon it was fall, and then winter, and we said we would have a yard sale in the spring.  So spring came and went, and there was just something going on every Saturday.  Even when there wasn't something going on that Saturday, there was usually so much going on during the week that I didn't have time to sort through stuff and get everything ready.  Sure, I guess we could have just opened the garage, invited people to look through our junk, and make us an offer if you find something good.  But I really wanted to organize things and have everything in the yard sale that I wanted to get rid of.

Two weeks ago we decided that that Saturday was the one, and we were finally going to do it.  But one thing led to another, and Friday night rolled around, and nothing was ready.  So we said that the Saturday in two weeks would be good.  We would do the yard sale then.  And, miracle of miracles, it looks like it's actually going to happen.  We have stuff set out on tables, and the Captain built me some cool clothes racks to hang clothes on.  I've gone through nearly every box in the house and found tons of stuff to sell.  So here we go!  After a year of saying we were going to do it, tomorrow we finally are!  And I'm sure we would still be putting if off without the Lord's help. 

Thursday July 24th

Happy Pioneer Day!  This morning we did the usual parade watching, and the kids came home with tons of candy. But then in the afternoon, the Captain wanted to go fly with his friends.  See, here's the story.  The Captain's friend is way into paragliding.  Every year on Pioneer Day he invites all his paraglider buddies to come and fly with him.  We really do have some great flying sites around here.  He usually gets at least a dozen to show up.

The Captain was off flying with this group this morning, so we had to take a small car to the parade.  It was crowded, to say the least.  I was figuring it would be the same in the evening, since the Captain would have the van again to take pilots up the mountain for the evening flight.  But the Captain was such a sweetheart, and he told the other pilots that he couldn't

drive because his family needed the van.  Awww, so thoughtful!  Then he went to an afternoon theatrical production with me, and missed getting a ride with someone else.  So, being the sweet wife that I am (at least once a year), I offered to drive him up.  Now, driving up to this particular launch site is not the smoothest drive in the world.  A high clearance vehicle is mandatory, and nerves of steel are helpful.  The Captain drove up the mountain, and found all his paragliding friends.  He was good, then, to either fly down or catch a ride, so I turned around and headed for home.

I've driven down that mountain before, so I wasn't too worried about it, but I kept getting distracted by the views.  It was just so cool to be up so high! 
So I got out a few times to take pictures. 
I had already decided that if I made it down the hill alive, that would probably be today's evidence of God's hand in my life, so I took a couple of pictures of the crazy road. 
As I got out to take this picture... 

I went to step out of the van, and realized it was rolling.  Scariest moment ever!  I wasn't all the way out yet, so I managed to get myself back in the seat and hit the brakes before it rolled too far.  Whew!  Then I realized that because I had been going down the mountain in Second, instead of just Drive, I hadn't moved the gear shift quite enough clicks to get it all the way to Park.  I had moved it the same number of clicks that I usually do, but this time that wasn't enough, and it only got me to Reverse before I tried to step out of the van.  I realize that even more than the Lord's hand, this post reveals the absence of clear thinking on my part.  It's true.  But the Lord must have something more in mind for this airhead, since he decided it wasn't my day to die today, and for that I am extremely grateful.

Wednesday July 23rd

On Saturday I was giving Gretl a bath, and she was not cooperating.  She had apparently decided that I needed to get just as wet as she was.  We did get her hair washed in the end, but I was soaking wet.  I didn't even think about it for quite a while - I'm not sure how long - until my phone made a weird sound.  Suddenly I realized it had been in my front pocket when Gretl had doused me, and must have gotten all wet.  When I took it out of my pocket, things did not look good.  The screen was completely white, so I took the battery out and went looking for some rice to put it in.  For four days I've been without a phone.  It was weird, but it was actually kind of nice.  I felt free!  I never needed to check for messages, and I didn't feel like I was on a leash when I was away from home.  On the flip side, I never knew what time it was, and I didn't know if there was something going on at home that I should know about.  Ah, the complexities of modern life. 

Even though I was kind of secretly enjoying not having my phone with me, I still realized that I needed a phone.  It would be nice to just not worry about about anyone else who might need me, but that's not the life I live.  So I have said many prayers over the last four days, asking Father in Heaven to save my phone.   I tried to pray with faith, but I just couldn't tell how Heavenly Father felt about it all.  So I decided that whatever happened would be for the best, and tried not to worry.

Yesterday I checked my phone, and it looked great when I turned it on, but after half a minute the screen started to scramble, so I hurried and took the battery back out and stuck it back in its back of rice.

This morning when I prayed, though, I knew that my prayer had been answered and my phone would be just fine.  Sure enough, when I took it out of the rice and put the battery in, it looked great.  It has continued to work perfectly all day long, and I am so very grateful that I'm not looking for a new phone right now. 

Tuesday July 22nd

It's a hard thing to be a little brother.  I don't know by personal experience, of course, but I watch Kurt and realize how tough it is to be overshadowed by a big brother.  Big brothers are awesome, of course.  I don't have any older brothers, but I definitely have big brothers, and I think they're great.  But then again, I'm not a little brother. 

Kurt has been trying his whole life to beat Friedrich - at anything.  The fact that he is four years younger and will never be as big as Friedrich is completely irrelevant in Kurt's mind.  He thinks he should be able to run faster, jump higher, hit harder, throw farther, and do everything not only as well as Friedrich, but better.  The sad part is that this hardly ever happens.  He's just a lot younger and a lot smaller.  But that never stops him from trying.  No matter how bad he gets beaten, he will come back for more.  Every time.  It kind of breaks my heart.  Every time.

But today Friedrich was away from home, and Kurt was hanging around with nothing to do.  The Captain had some students at the house, and for a little while they didn't have anything to do, either.  So they started a chess tournament, of sorts.  There were three boys that were all older than Kurt by quite a bit, but there were only three of them.  So when they found out that Kurt knew how to play chess, they invited him to play chess with one of them while the other two played.  I'm sure they thought that the boy playing against Kurt would just play around and humor him while the other two played a real game.  They quickly found out that their mistake.

It didn't take Kurt very long to have his opponent in check mate.  They played again, since the older boy was sure it had been dumb luck.  Kurt once again beat him soundly.  That boy was the youngest of the three students, so a boy older than him decided to step in and play against Kurt.  That boy also found himself in check mate after only a few moves. 

I'm not trying to tell you that Kurt is some kind of chess prodigy.  He really isn't.  And if Friedrich had been home, he could have beaten Kurt in no time.  But I believe the Lord's hand was in our lives in keeping Friedrich away from home this afternoon.  Kurt needed a chance to shine, and this was the perfect opportunity.  He had been practicing with cousins at the reunion, and had lots of practice.  The three older boys really weren't very good at chess.  But they were amazed by Kurt's abilities.  They marveled and wondered, and told each other again and again that Kurt was still in elementary school.  The last student refused to play against Kurt at all because he knew he would be beaten.  Hahaha.

Kurt loved every minute, and I could see his self-esteem growing with every amazed comment.  I am so glad that the Lord gave Kurt a chance to shine this afternoon - to show off his amazing abilities without being in Friedrich's shadow.  He is an amazing kid, but the world doesn't always see it, and neither does he.  I'm sure the Lord does, though, and today He gave those students, as well as Kurt, a glimpse of the awesomeness hiding inside of my ten-year-old boy.

Monday July 21st

We are hoping to have a yard sale on Saturday.  The problem is, we've been hoping to have a yard sale the last several Saturdays, and it doesn't happen.  The main reason is because I haven't gotten things organized to make it happen.  There is the option of just opening the garage, having people rummage through our junk, and having them make us an offer on anything they find.  But....  that is probably not the best way to go about it.  So today I was determined to get to work and organize all our junk for a yard sale this weekend. 
Just as soon as I make breakfast,
and start some laundry,
 and clean up the kitchen,
and the list goes on. 

But in the middle of all this, I had the thought that what I really needed to do was visit a couple of people.  So I bagged all my other plans and walked out the door to visit the young mom down the block who just had her third baby while her husband is at basic training.  Then to the neighbors down the street who moved in a few weeks ago, and finally home again to find a recently returned missionary friend at our house with whom I spent the rest of the afternoon visiting.  (Yes, I realize some of those may not have been complete sentences.  Please don't tell my high school English teachers... or my sister who is a high school English teacher.)

I didn't get any stuff sorted or organized for the yard sale on (hopefully) Saturday.  But I did visit with some people that I think needed my attention, and I'm pretty sure that's what the Lord wanted me to do today.  Maybe the yard sale isn't as important as the people around me.  Maybe the laundry and dishes aren't as important as helping others.  Maybe the Lord had a hand in my day today.  And for that I am grateful.

Sunday July 20th

I haven't always been the greatest visiting teacher.  In fact, I've often been a lousy visiting teacher.  But I've been trying to do better lately.  I have been visiting one lady for several years now who doesn't attend church.  She's a very sweet lady, and I always enjoy visiting with her.  Her girls were in the Young Women program while I was a leader, and so I know her family a little that way.  I have invited her to church lots of times, and she always agrees that she should go, but never shows up.  I have invited her to Relief Society activities and ward parties and she is always friendly about it, but never shows up. 
Her daughter, though, just returned from a mission.  This same daughter told me years ago that she thought if her mom had a really good visiting teacher, that she might come to church.  It wasn't long after that I was made her mom's visiting teacher.  I felt like I owed it to the daughter to do my part in trying to get her mom to church while she was gone on her mission, and I tried, but it just didn't happen.  The daughter came home from her mission a few weeks ago, but I still hadn't seen her.  That explains why I was so excited to see her walking toward me after Sacrament Meeting today.  But I was even more excited when I saw her mom walking behind her.  They had both come to Sacrament Meeting! Hooray!

The mom said that the daughter had finally convinced her to come by reading her most of 3 Nephi chapter 13.  Now why didn't I think of that?   However it happened, I am so glad that this sweet lady finally made it to church.  The daughter is moving away soon, and it will be up to me again to get her to church.  I hope that I can do it.  I am grateful for the Lord's hand in my life today in showing me how we should never give up on anyone.  They are all His children, and if we have patience, He can help us see how to touch each and every one.

Saturday July 19th

Hello!  We've been at a family reunion for the last couple of days, which is my excuse for not writing.  It's a pretty good excuse, since we were camping in the mountains with only very spotty cell phone reception.  But now I'm back to give you a summary.  We left on Thursday afternoon, bringing along one very sick Marta.  She had the stomach flu and was pretty miserable.  She kept her throw-up bowl near, and used it often, poor girl.  We managed to arrive at the camp site and had fun visiting with the Captain's family.  Marta felt considerably better the second day, and was up and playing with cousins.  I followed her around for a while with a water bottle, trying to get her re-hydrated, but kids are amazing, and she was off and running in no time.

We took our trust tent trailer, which has been with us on many camping trips for the last thirteen years.  I'm afraid it's getting a little worn out these days, but it's still much more comfortable than a tent, so I'm sure it will see a few more years of service before it's retired.

We played and ate and got very, very dirty.  We finally made it home this afternoon, and all I wanted in the world was a shower and a nap.  I changed into my pajamas and stayed in them the rest of the day, even though we got home around three in the afternoon.  It's funny how a couple days of camping will help you realize just how much luxury you enjoy.  It's been a while since I took a

moment to appreciate how lovely it is to walk on carpet in my bare feet, or take a shower in a clean bathroom with water that's just the right temperature.  The air conditioner feels like a gift sent straight from God, and I'm sure I don't deserve it.  It's so very nice to keep things in a refrigerator instead of  a cooler, and to cook over an indoor stove instead of a campfire.

I usually enjoy camping, but this camping trip just didn't sit well with me.  That may be why I am seeing every convenience in my house as a wonderful gift from the Lord.  He has blessed us with so much that I take for granted.  So today's evidence of the Lord's hand in our lives is the air conditioner, the carpet, and running water.  Any person visiting our time from past centuries would see these things as miracles, and today I do as well.

Wednesday July 16th

You will be happy to hear that I got up and vacuumed my house first thing this morning.  Yes, I knew you would be so proud of me.  Thank you, I'm pretty proud of myself, too.
I also completed all but one of the things on my to do list today.  That is also very impressive.  (And that last thing wasn't so important.  I can do it tomorrow without any problems.) 
One of the things on my list was to renew my drivers license and...  wait for it....

take Liesl to get her license! Aaaaahhh! When did I get so old?  But I keep reminding myself that it's a blessing.  I now have someone I can send on errands.  There is now another driver that can fetch and deliver children.  This will be a good thing.  Sigh.

But wait.  Wasn't she just born?  Wasn't I just barely holding her in a fuzzy pink blanket as we snuggled, just the two of us, in our basement apartment?  Wasn't she just barely dressing up as a princess every single day and dancing around the house wearing every piece of jewelry she could find?  I'm sure she just barely started school.  I'm still not used to getting up early to get her off in the mornings, so it can't have started very long ago.  What happened?  She can't drive a car, she's a little girl!!!

But neither would I want to keep her from fulfilling her true potential.  I wouldn't want to keep her from progressing just so I could have her home and little and cute all the time.  I want her to be able to have all the joy and sorrow and gain all the wisdom she came here to get.  But I don't want her to grow up and go away, either. 

I am sure Heavenly Father feels the same when he sends his children to earth.  He knows they'll have pain and sorrow, and they'll never be quite the same as when they left.  But he sends us, anyway, because He loves us and wants us to become all He knows we can be.  So I can try to follow His example, and be proud of the beautiful young lady Liesl is becoming.  I can be excited for her and all that lies ahead in her life.  But just for tonight, I can mourn the loss of my little princess and the days when she was happy to just dance around the living room.  I know that God gave us the opportunity to be parents so that we could gain some small understanding of how much He loves us and how much He has given us in providing these opportunities on earth.  I am grateful for the chance to be a mother, to see my kids grow, and even for the tears I'm crying tonight because my baby girl is going to drive away.  I'm grateful that my Father in Heaven loved me enough to let me go for a while and experience all these things for myself, and I hope we'll all get the opportunity to go back and dress up and dance in His living room again.

Tuesday July 15th

About a year ago I decided to assign days to some of my household chores.  Monday became errand day, because it always became an errand day, no matter what else I had planned.  Tuesday became bread and butter day.  I have to borrow my mom's Bosch to make the bread and make the cream into butter (anyone who would like to buy me a Bosch is perfectly welcome), so I try to do them both on the same day.  Wednesday became bathroom cleaning day because if I don't try to do it on a certain day every week, I will let months go by without cleaning the bathrooms. (I realize I shouldn't be admitting this out loud.  I'm just trying to make you feel better about your bathroom.) And Thursday became vacuuming day.  Vacuuming is my worst chore.  I don't know why it is, but I am much better at cleaning bathrooms and doing laundry and just about everything else.  Unfortunately this is not a story about how I resolved my vacuuming issues.  But we'll keep hoping that I'll figure it out someday.  And of course these aren't the only household chores I do in a week.  These are just the ones that weren't getting done, and so needed some focus.

The problem is, I'm not a very strict taskmaster for myself.  I allow myself all kinds of excuses for getting out of these chores on their assigned days.  I'll usually get bread and butter day done, just because the family will demand bread, and the cream will fill the whole fridge.  No one but me cares about the other things, though, so it's pretty easy to skip them and get away with it.  It does start to bother me if I haven't taken care of these chores in a couple weeks, though, and such was the state of my house this week.  I can't remember why I didn't clean the bathrooms or vacuum last week, but I didn't.  And this week we are leaving for a family reunion on Thursday, so my week is short.  I already wasted yesterday just because I was tired and grouchy all day.  (Gretl was the same way, so maybe it was in the air.) That left today and tomorrow to get all my chores and errands done and get ready for a three day camping trip, and at 2:00 this afternoon I still hadn't done anything worth mentioning.

At 2:00 today I would have told you that none of it was getting done, and maybe we should just stay home from the reunion.  But sitting here at 11:30pm, I can proudly say that I made bread (and it turned out great!), made the butter, and cleaned all three bathrooms.  Boo-yah!!!
There had to have been some divine intervention there, because that's two days of chores done in half of one day!  Plus we had dinner and shuttled kids to activities, besides running Gretl to the potty, starting Dora videos, and everything else that happens in a day at my house.  I am very grateful to the Lord for sending the time warp or the rocket boosters, or whatever it was that happened to make today possible. 

Monday July 14th

 I had to go get milk before I could fix breakfast this morning, so I ran over to the parents' house to get milk.  They have a cow, and have lots of milk to share.  It's so nice that we can not only get milk from them whenever we need it, but also that it's healthier for us than the milk we get in the store.

My dad milks the cow every night and morning, even though he's having some serious issues from a car accident which make his left arm hard to use. I so much appreciate his perseverance, and also their generosity in always sharing with us.

The Lord has blessed us with people who are willing to sacrifice on our behalf, and I am so grateful to Him and to them. 

Sunday July 13th

The lesson in Relief Society today was on the Priesthood, so you know that there was some discussion on the latest events in the news concerning women and the priesthood.  I haven't been following the drama very closely, but I do have a few thoughts on the subject.

There have been some wonderful advances in our world on behalf of women in the last century.  Women have stood strong and gained many new privileges that historically have been denied them.  They can not only vote, but can also receive an education equal to any man's.  They can hold any public office and are seen as capable leaders.  Women are found in every profession, including those traditionally filled by men.  I am grateful that I was born at a time when there are so many opportunities for women to use their talents and abilities.

However, in our efforts to make things equal, we have managed to tip the scale the other way.  Women, to this date, still have the unique ability to bear children.  We are still special and unique and have a divine calling.  But what about men?  Women have slowly taken over every area that used to belong to men alone.  The workplace used to belong to the men, but is now flooded with women - women who are perfectly capable and do an amazing job, I might add.  Men have traditionally held a place at the head of families, but fewer and fewer families now have that blessing.

So what is left for the men?  Are men and women equal now that men have nothing that is their own?  I applaud the advances for women, but I worry about our men.  How will my sons have pride in being men, when men have become superfluous? 

The objective in the beginning was Equal Rights for Women, but I worry that it's become Everything for Women. Would women do a good job in leading the church?  Absolutely.  Would women be responsible priesthood holders?  I'm sure they'd do just as well or better than the men.

But why?

Why do we need to do everything?  We've proven that we're capable of doing anything, but we're also breaking under the strain from trying to do everything.  We're trying to do everything the men do, just to prove that we can, and also trying to doing everything the women do.  Why not let the men do something?  Why not let them lead the church and hold the priesthood?  Don't the women have enough to do already?  Why not let the men have something that is their own, something that makes them special and unique and possessors of a divine calling?

Just because they can do something we can't, doesn't make us unequal.  We can do something they can't, so let's just call it even.  Let's be equal again, with each gender contributing his or her part to make things complete for everyone. 

Saturday July 12th

I somehow ended up with nothing to do today.  Of course there are always dishes and laundry to do, and there is always some part of the house that needs to be cleaned, but all of my scheduled events were either cancelled or postponed, and I found myself free to choose today's activities.  But I was completely lost.  I had no idea how to fill a day that was my own.  It actually made me a little grumpy this morning.

But then Liesl asked me to go driving with her.  She is about to get her driver's license, and just needs a little more practice.  I  decided that would be a good thing to fill up an hour or so. We set off, and decided to follow some back roads that we hadn't been on before.  The first of these just took us around a little hill and spat us back out onto a familiar road very quickly.  So we went looking for another road, and found one.  This one, however, did not spit us out quickly. It held on to us for about three hours.  We ended up going over a mountain, and while the scenery was beautiful, the road was a little rough.  If we had been in a truck or SUV, I'm sure it would have been fine, but we were in a little car that was close to the ground, and not at all suited for the rough dirt roads filled with deep tire ruts and large rocks.  Besides all that, Liesl is a new driver and likes to hug the right side of the road.  There was one time when I was sure we were in trouble. There was another car coming the other direction, and so she was trying to move over to make room on the one lane dirt road.  However, there was one part of the road that was cut away by a large ditch, and I knew that our tire was going in the ditch and we would be in a lot of trouble.  I can't tell you why we were able to glide safely over that ditch.  There had to have been angels holding us up. When I got after Liesl for it, she didn't know what I was talking about.  She hadn't even seen the danger we were in.

I am so glad that the Lord took care of us over that mountain road.  It was nice to spend some time with Liesl and see some of the beautiful world that God has given us, but it could have ended in tragedy any number of times.  I realize that sounds very melodramatic, but anyone who has driven with a new driver will realize that I'm not exaggerating!  I am very grateful to be here writing this post tonight, that we are all safe and sound, and that the Lord loves us and watches over us. 

Friday July 11th

This morning when I woke up I knew that I needed to do something with the Activity Day girls today. I've known this all week, but I just couldn't think of a good activity to do with them.  So I sat up in bed and said a prayer.  I'm pretty good at saying a prayer before I go to bed every night, but not as good at saying a prayer in the morning before I start my day.  I don't know why I don't, because great things always happen.  I said my prayer this morning, asking the Lord what I should do with my Activity Day girls today, and immediately an idea came into my head.  I thought about the temple, and how the girls need to see it as their goal.  Then I thought that I should take them there. Even though they can't really go inside yet, they could still walk around it and feel some of the spirit of the place.  So I sent out a text saying that we were going on a field trip today, and all but one of my girls said they could come!  That is miraculous in itself, because it's so hard to get everyone together, especially in the summer.

Before we left I made a quick run to the dollar store because Marta needed a gift to take to a birthday party.  While I was there I saw the bottled water and felt a nudge from the Spirit to get some.  So I grabbed a couple of six-packs and threw them into a small cooler with some ice.

The trip to the temple went really well.  The girls complained a lot about the heat, so I was very glad that I had water for them to drink.  But they also had fun walking around the temple, and taking pictures on the grounds.  I took them into the lobby, which is as far as they can go without a temple recommend, so now they can at least say they've set foot inside the temple. 

Because they were such good sports about tramping around in the heat, I took them for ice cream afterwards.  As activities go, it was one of our better ones.  I'm so glad I decided to ask the Lord for his suggestion on what to do for an activity today, because His idea was a lot better than any of mine would have been.

Thursday July 10th

It's the little things that make me happy.  I have been trying for what seems like forever to figure out a way to get our whites to be white again.  I know, this is sounding like a DIY homemaker blog, and I love those, but if that's what you're looking for, I'm afraid I can't help you.  I did find someone else's, though, and see their recipe for whitening clothes.  I gave it a try, and it worked ok.  The results weren't spectacular, but the clothes looked better. 

It's amazing what the Lord can do when you turn it over to him.  I finally had the idea (delivered by the Holy Ghost, I know), that I should use that same recipe, but boil the clothes in it.  Have you ever seen Mickey's Christmas Carol, when Scrooge is looking in Jacob Marley's window with the Ghost of Christmas Present, and asks what's in the pot over the fire?  The ghost says, "Oh.  That's your laundry." 
So why not?  It worked for Minnie Mouse, didn't it? 

So I tried it. I put all the cleaning stuff in the bottom of a pot, added a little hot water, added my clothes, and then filled it with enough water to cover the clothes.  I brought it to a boil on the stove, and then let it simmer for several hours.  Even though I started with clean clothes, the water was thick brown by the time I was done.  So gross!  It also started to smell funny.  Like sweat soup.  Super gross! 

Then I threw the whole thing in the washer and washed it.  Then I washed it again with White Brite, put them in the dryer, and held my breath.  And wow!  They looked awesome!  I'll take a better picture in the morning, but here's a sample of the miracle

These are both Friedrich's shirts, one before the whitening process and one after. And believe me when I tell you that I do not have the Photoshop skills to fake this picture.

The Lord is so smart!  So brilliant!  And the fact that he's willing to share even a part of that with me is so very humbling.  Hooray for white shirts!

Wednesday July 9th

About a month and a half ago, I was driving to girls' camp with a bunch of other ladies.  We were going to spend the day with our girls by going on a hike and attending dinner and a fireside.  Anyway, there was one lady in the van that had moved into town recently and I was still trying to get to know.  So I asked her what her interests were, besides mothering.  She seemed pretty stumped, and it got me thinking about how I would answer such a question.  Mothering seems to take up my whole life, but surely I must have some other interests outside of that job?  I mean, I wasn't always a mother, but what did I do before my children came along? So I've been pondering the question ever since. 

 I soon realized that one thing I love is flowers.  This is somewhat unfortunate, because I live in a very dry climate that isn't very good for growing flowers.  But we've manged to come up with a pretty good variety of flowers that will do well here.  It's nothing like the eastern part of the country, but they're still pretty.

 And sure enough, when The Captain's sister came to stay with us for the Fourth of July, she asked me what my hobbies were.  I should have seen that coming from a mile away, because anything you give out generally comes back to you, and I definitely had that coming.  But thank goodness I had given it some thought, and I could tell her that I loved my flowers and spent lots of time on my flower beds.

Today I was thinking that I needed to take some stock photos.  I write my posts late at night, and most of the time I don't know what I'm going to write about until I sit down and stare at the screen for a few minutes.  So I decided to just go out and take some pictures of things in my life that might end up in a blog post so that I would have some pictures on hand.

It didn't take me long to remember that I love photography!  I had so much fun taking pictures of my flowers.  I took pictures of lots of other things, as well, but I especially enjoyed taking pictures of the flowers. I suddenly remembered how I had entered photographs in the county fair and won ribbons.  I remembered that this was one of my hobbies! Hooray!  I have hobbies!  I am more than just a mother! 

Being a mother is the most important thing I do, or will probably ever do, but I am grateful to the Lord for helping me to see that there is more to me than just dishes and laundry. Even though I have lots of kids to take care of, I am still a person with varied interests and talents.  It's so easy to forget. But today the Lord reminded me.

Tuesday July 8th

The Captain borrowed sixty dollars out of my account yesterday.  That would be fine, except for that my budget is pretty much down to the dollar these days, and that means there is not an extra sixty dollars that's not already assigned to some bill or other.  But never fear, he still had vending machines to check.  So today he went and checked his vending machines that still had money in them to be collected and came home with....  sixty dollars!  To the quarter!  It was amazing.  So he deposited it in my account today, and we're all good again.  There's no question in my mind that the Lord was behind that one.

Monday July 7th

Poor Liesl has been sick this weekend.  She's been coughing, and her voice has been very scratchy and hoarse.  This is never good, but it was especially bad for this weekend because she's one of the leads in A Field of Stars.  They've been rehearsing for weeks and weeks, and the performances were Saturday and today.  She made it through Saturday with only a couple of rough parts in her songs, but yesterday she got worse. She had a fever and her voice was worse.  She still had one more performance to get through tonight, so we were all praying for her.  She woke up this morning feeling a little better, but still spent the day lying around and not feeling well.  I was a little nervous about the performance tonight, but she totally rocked it!  Her voice sounded better than ever, and she did an amazing job.  She came home and crashed again, but for the performance she was great.  I am so glad the Lord heard our prayers and made her able to perform like she's been practicing for weeks.  Now we just need to get her all better!

Sunday July 6th

This morning before I church I was working on some Personal Progress goals, and read some scriptures about Christ.  I came up with some cool thoughts that I thought I would like to share in testimony meeting.
It was a nice plan, but it didn't work out so well.  When one of the first people got up to bear his testimony, his little boy followed him to the pulpit and wanted to talk in the microphone.  He let his little boy say something (that none of us could understand), and the little boy managed to break the microphone while he was at it.  It still worked in that it still carried people's voices over the speakers, but if it wasn't held up, it would just flop over onto the pulpit.  The Bishop was getting up to hold the microphone in between testimonies, and I could feel The Captain's stress mounting beside me.  Finally he got up and walked out, and I knew he had gone to find tools.  Sure enough, he came
walking back in a few minutes later with a screwdriver and a handful of screws.  He walked right up to the pulpit and as soon as that person finished, he started to work on the microphone.  The next person just used the hand mic while The Captain was taking the mic off the pulpit and putting it back on again.  The man is a compulsive fixer.  But he did a good job.  The microphone was standing straight and tall once again when he was finished with it.
All of this made it a little awkward for me to get up to bear my testimony.  But I had decided I would just do it anyway, and tried to move Gretl off my lap.  She was having absolutely none of that. She started making such a fuss that I put her back on my lap and gave up on the idea of bearing my testimony.  I know, I could have tried harder, but it was all so crazy that it just seemed like too much trouble.
But I still had these cool thoughts in my head that I carried through Sunday School and on to Relief Society.  I was wishing I had made a bigger push to bear my testimony in Sacrament Meeting when the Relief Society President got up and started the lesson.  And whaddaya know!  The lesson went along perfectly with my thoughts on Christ from the morning.  It fit exactly!  So I soon found an opportunity to raise my hand and share my insights, and felt a lot better.  I'm so glad that the Lord gave me a second chance to share the thoughts he had sent my way this morning.

P.S. My cool thoughts were these:  How could a people crucify their God?  It seems so insane to me that people would have that much nerve.  But Christ made his sacrifice so that He could be our judge.  He has paid for that right, and it is His alone.  That means that I have no right whatsoever to judge anyone else.  Christ is the only one who can do that.  All He has asked me to do is to love everyone.  So even though I might think that people who would crucify their god must be a bunch of dirt bags, he asked His father to forgive them, and paid for their sins even as they were killing him.  I don't know anyone who's done anything half so bad as crucifying God's son, which means that I should be able to forgive and love everyone in my life.  Easier said than done, but with God all things are possible.

Saturday July 5th

There were a couple of different ways in which we saw the Lord's hand in our lives today. The first was that A Field of Stars was performed twice, and it was a success!  It went great!  No one fell off the stage, no one messed up too bad, it wasn't complete chaos like The Captain was afraid of.  It was great!  Leisl was especially amazing as the female lead.  Friedrich did a great job as the drummer boy.  Kurt was very convincing as a ten-year-old boy, and Brigitta and Marta were very cute as school children.  There were no major mess ups that I could see.  I think The Captain saw a couple, since he's been working on every detail for so long, but as an uninformed observer, it looked great.


The second story I have to share is about the grocery store again.  (I'm telling you, I learn more there about following the promptings of the Holy Ghost than any other place!)  I had made a list of all the food we eat in a month.  I had gone through all my recipes (that I make on a regular basis) and written down every ingredient.  We have been counseled to have a three month supply of foods we eat regularly, so I was trying to have a three month back up of everything I need to make our usual breakfast, lunch, and dinners.

I took Gretl to the store with me, and we shopped until the cart was full and Gretl was tired.  I didn't make it through the whole list, but I was making notes on my list as I went along about which aisle each item could be found on.  When I had loaded all my groceries into the car, I suddenly realized that I no longer had my list.  This is not unusual for me.  I don't usually come home with my list.  It almost always disappears somewhere between the store and home.  But this list was different, because I had put a lot of work into it, and I wasn't finished with it yet!

I walked back along the path I had taken to the car, all the way back to the cash register where I had checked out.  I asked the cashier if she had seen it, but she said no.  It wasn't in the cart, and I couldn't see it on the floor.  It had just disappeared.  Grr.  I didn't know what else to do, so I got in the car and started out of the parking lot.  Before I got to the road, though, I had the impression that I could still find my list if I went back in the store one more time.  I figured that going back in the store would take less time than re-creating my list, so I turned around, found a parking spot, and hauled Gretl back in to the store.

This time I had the idea (not my own, I'm sure) to check at the Customer Service counter.  I walked up to the counter, but the girl was helping someone else.  As soon as the other person moved, I could see my list sitting on the counter.  I pointed to it, and told the girl that was what I was looking for.  She smiled and handed it to me and told me it had been on the floor.

Hooray!!!  I was so happy to have my list back.  See?  The Lord cares about all the little details in our lives, and is willing to help us out if we'll just pay attention.  I'm so glad.

Thursday July 3rd

Rehearsal for A Field of Stars started at 6:00 this morning.  The Captain got up at about 4:30am to go get set up.  I was surprised at how awake I was at 4:30 in the morning.  I thought about just getting up, but decided that was silly when I didn't have to.  So I went back to bed for an hour, and got up at 5:30 to go and spread fertilizer on the lawn.  I got Friedrich and Leisl off to practice, and went back to bed for a couple of hours.

When I got up again, I went to check on my yogurt.  I had started some yogurt the night before, and was delighted to find that it had thickened considerably during the night.  But now it needed to be strained, and I wasn't sure how to do it.  I poured it all into a cloth, and held it over a bowl, but I wasn't going to be able to stand there for hours while the whey drained out.  I tried to think of a way to hold the cloth over the bowl, and all my ideas were so elaborate that I usually didn't even have everything I needed to pull it off.  So, I asked the Captain.

In about two minutes he had the problem solved, and my yogurt was hanging nicely, where it stayed for several hours. He just tied up the top, put a handy little gadget on the bottom shelf of my cupboard (I think it's supposed to go to a peg board, but it worked beautifully for this.), and hung the yogurt over the bowl.  It was so simple and easy, and I was SO impressed.  He really is amazing.

So today's evidence of God's hand in my life is my amazing husband.  I tease him that he is a compulsive fixer, because if he sees something he can fix (and he can fix pretty much anything), he will just stop whatever he was doing and fix it.  One time he was picking up Louisa from a friend's house, and noticed that their front doorknob was having issues.  He asked for a screwdriver, and had it fixed in under five minutes.  He's just amazing.  I don't know what I would do without him.

Wednesday July 2nd

I kind of wish that so many of my posts weren't about money.  I really appreciate all the help the Lord gives us with our finances, but what else would I see if I wasn't so worried about money all the time?  I'm sure he's helping us in many other ways, but the financial help always stands out to me.

So today I went to buy some steer manure for my flower beds.  They haven't been doing very well, and I decided they needed a little help.  I didn't have very much money to spend (I probably shouldn't have been spending any at all), but I love my flowers, and it's not really such an expensive hobby.

I went to IFA, and found the 1.89 bags of manure compost, and figured that's what I'd get.  But then the manager got ahold of me, and showed me all the plants that were marked down to 25 cents each. (25 cents each!!!)  So of course I had go load up a cart full of those, even if they were half dead.  He also told me about the best compost to use in my yard, and recommended that I get that. (6.99 a bag)  Sigh.

So I took my cart full of half dead flowers to the register and helped the cashier count them all.  Then I told her I needed five bags of the cheap compost manure.  But at that moment I suddenly knew without a doubt that I would have more money soon and that I could get the bags of compost that I really wanted.  I didn't hesitate, but told her I also wanted two bags of the other compost.  I paid for them, had them loaded in my car, and headed home to happily spread manure and compost around my yard.  (Who knew that such a thing could make me so happy?)

But before I could go home, I needed to stop at my parents' house.  I was hauling stuff out to my car, ready to leave, when my mom called from her office that I shouldn't leave yet.  I went back in, and she handed me a check for the Captain's job with them.  It was so amazing!  I love it when I get a prompting from the Holy Ghost and act on it and it turns out so well.  My faith is not always rewarded so quickly, but today I knew that the Lord was watching and paying attention to every detail in my life - including which compost I was buying.

Tuesday July 1st

The Captain has been made the director of our local patriotic pageant this year.  It is called A Field of Stars, and he has drafted nearly all the family to fill roles in the play.  Gretl, Louisa, and I are the only members of the family who will be watching instead of performing this year. 

But the poor Captain has had a rough time of it.  His key actors haven't been showing up to rehearsals, in fact lots of people haven't been showing up to rehearsals.  Their first performance is this Saturday, and it wasn't looking good.  The poor guy was extremely worried about what was going to happen on Saturday, because it just wasn't coming together.
This week he scheduled dress rehearsals for Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday nights.  It may seem like a lot, but he was really worried, and really wanted people to show up to practice.
So tonight he went off to practice looking pretty grim.  Most of the family followed him over, and I stayed at home with Gretl watching (sleeping through) old episodes of Dora the Explorer.  
I was hoping that the rehearsal would go well, and I was a little nervous when the Captain finally showed up.  His mood was...  good!  Very good!  Hooray!  Practice had gone well, and he was happy.  Boy was I glad!  Most of his actors had shown up, and they had one good run through of the entire play. 
He was much happier than he had been for days, and even seemed a little excited about how it would turn out.  I am so very grateful for the Lord's hand in making tonight's rehearsal a success.